"Hell no this moustache ain't ironic, ya pansy"

Self-explanatory.

"Well, it's not a fixie yet."

"I think the beer I drink is a reflection of my personality. Too bad there isn't one called "World's Most Awesome Hipster."

"Girl Talk ain't got shit on my MGMT/Ted Nugent mash-up."

After unsuccessfully trying to market their band "The Streatise" as an indie-folk band, Randy realized they could make far more money playing Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" repeatedly.

"Now that you mention it, I s'pose the moustache is the result of inbreeding."